Falling Snow
by Star Rhapsody
Summary: [Kikyou] Nobody understands a tragedy until it has passed.


**AN: **A rather semi-long oneshot. Dedicated to Kikyou, so I would appreciate non-Kikyou fans to hold their tongues. I'm not quite sure on the accuracy of the betrayal of Inuyasha and Kikyou, since I always found that slightly confusing on the details, but oh well. By the way, does anyone else besides me think that 'Look After You' by The Fray somewhat fits the pairing? Or is it just me?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Inuyasha.

**Falling Snow**

I remember the first time I was acquainted with the Shikon jewel. At that time, I was only ten years of age. By then, I was developing my miko powers already. People had talked of how high my spiritual powers already were, apparently being highly above the normal. I don't think I truly understood the power of the jewel either. I just knew that I had to guard it with my life; I had to make sure that it never fell in the hands of evil.

The very thought of dedicating the rest of my life to that small jewel angered me at first. I threw small fits constantly, regarding the jewel with hate. It was the whole reason I was being stripped of a childhood. And it hurt when I saw the other village children running around while I was stuck heightening my spiritual powers.

But the elders of the village would constantly lecture me on what an honor it was to have to guard something so precious. Of course they'd say that—they weren't the ones stuck doing it.

After a full year of guarding the jewel, I slowly tamed the flames of my anger, constantly drilling into my head that it was my duty and responsibility. I had always been taught to never run from destiny, and so I will accept it now. Not with hospitality, but at least I'm trying. By now, my miko powers were growing, as were my archery skills. The sinking feeling of scaring the other village children always emerged in my head, and I feared that most of them were frightened of me and my powers. However, there was one boy who didn't seem to mind.

His name was Jiro. I remember having some sort of attraction to him. It was extremely comforting to know he'd talk to me despite what the other kids said. He always sat down and spoke with me of random things, things that didn't really matter. But I enjoyed it. It was a way of escaping my horrible reality. For one moment, I could feel normal.

When I was thirteen and he was fifteen, something happened. I don't even know how it did, but I don't care. We were sitting in a grassy clearing in the middle of a forest, talking like we always did. Regrettably, those times were becoming limited since he was old enough to help around the village and the constant protection of the jewel loomed over my head. However, that day, our silly conversations took a more serious turn. He was sitting by me, when all of a sudden, he rested his hand atop mine. I looked at him, questioning his actions by the expression in my eyes.

He merely smiled at me, his blue eyes twinkling before he leaned in a brushed his lips against mine. It was about the most pleasant feeling I had ever had in my life at that point. They felt as soft as the petals of a flower, and as quick as the flapping of butterfly wings. It was a wonderful first kiss, and I thought I'd never float back down from the cloud I was sitting on.

"Remember that, okay?" He asked.

I nodded my head soundlessly, well aware of the red that stained my cheeks. He smiled and got up, stretching his hand out for me to take, which I readily did. We walked back to the village and parted ways, the touch of his lips still lingering.

"Looks like someone's in love!" Kaede, my little sister, teased. She had a spark of mischief in her big, brown eyes. I rolled my eyes, mentally smiling as my mind drifted back to that kiss.

Later that night, the healer of the village stopped by my home. She had a stern look on her face as she sat herself down. I looked up and made eye contact with her.

"Yes?" I asked as politely as I could.

"Your heart is being distracted, child."

"What?" I asked, clearly surprised.

"The jewel isn't receiving your attention as need be. Your heart is elsewhere, is it not?"

I suddenly had a feeling she knew about my feelings for Jiro. A dark look came upon my face, though I masked it before she could find something to say about that. I merely pretended to play innocent and not bother to indulge on Jiro and my current feelings.

The old lady got up to her feet, hobbling slightly to the door. "Just be careful. It would be the ultimate massacre for the jewel to fall in the hands of evil." She left me with those parting words. I stared at the curtain to the entrance of the hut where she was just a few moments ago, wondering what would happen if the jewel fell into the wrong hands. Would true evil really spread across the land like wildfire like they said?

Kaede soon walked in with a bundle of herbs in her arms, a curious look on her face. "What was the old healer doing here?"

I looked up at her for a few moments before shaking my head. "Nothing. Just talking about the jewel."

She nodded her head before setting the herbs in a wooden basket and going to sleep. I stayed awake that night, watching the flames in the pit of our hut slowly die out. They seemed to be dying out, much like my heart was. I felt like I poured too much of me into the jewel and not enough into real relationships. The one with a jewel was nothing but servitude.

A sudden thought burst into my head; what would happen, should the jewel break? Would it disappear off the face of the earth, or would it just be the jewel, only in several smaller pieces? I shook my head, getting rid of those thoughts. I'd only cause disaster, knowing my luck.

Suddenly, I heard the terrifying screams of the surrounding villagers, and Kaede jerked awake. She looked at me, her huge brown eyes startled, and I could only imagine I looked the same. We ran out of the hut, me with my bow and arrows. The sight that met us would forever plague my mind. Demons of all sorts scoured the village, wreaking havoc. I saw the look of horror on a mother's face as she helplessly watched a gigantic demon sweep up her child and devour it whole.

That must've been the breaking point for me, for I notched one of my arrows and pointed it directly at the demon's back, praying that these few years of practice would pay off. The arrow shot off, blue light engulfing it as it gained speed towards its target. The demon suddenly screeched as the tip of the arrow lodged itself in its back. Before the demon could fall to the ground, it turned into ash.

Kaede stood next to me, stunned. The mother also looked at me, slightly in awe. I merely nodded my head in her direction, and she smiled weakly in thanks.

It was then that I heard my name being called. I looked out in front of me, scanning for who was trying to reach me. Jiro. "Jiro…" I whispered as he dodged a demon's claw. He quickly shoved his sword into its heart before jogging up to me. He had blood spilled all over his shirt, and I instantly wondered whether or not it was his own blood.

"You've got to get out of here," He warned, wiping his bloodied sword on the dry grass. "It's not safe, and I think more demons are approaching."

I shook my head sadly, suddenly realizing just how important my duty as a priestess was. If I left for the sake of my own safety, the village would burn to the ground. "I can't. I have to protect the village."

Jiro gave me an incredulous look as I walked past him, the bow grasped tightly in my hand. Kaede made a move to follow mee, but I told her to stay with Jiro. I couldn't risk her lif2C especially after I lost my parents…She was the only family I had left.

"Wait." I turned to look at Jiro, who had a stone-like expression on his face, though I could see in his eyes the sorrow he had. I wished to make it go away and tell him everything would be alright, but that would be a lie. "Take this," he said, pressing something into the palm of my open hand. I opened my hand, and I was somewhat surprised to see the sapphire amulet he wore around his neck. He had gotten this when he was thirteen…I remembered that very day he showed it to me. It was his mother's.

"Jiro…I can't take this." I mumbled softly, gazing at it.

"Just…Take it okay?" He asked, smiling slightly. He then walked away, ushering Kaede along as well. She turned to look me, her eyes ready to brim with tears. She was frightened, no doubt about that. I quickly turned around and jogged back into the heart of the village.

Two huge demons were throwing strange, fireball-like orbs at random huts and people, hissing with pleasure at their screams. I raised my bow and got an arrow ready. The calming, yet powerful feeling of my spiritual energy was flowing through my body and into the arrow. I let it go with a small cry, watching as it seared the sky and straight into the heart of the demon. As the arrow escaped the demon's body, it whistled through the air and slammed right into the second demon. I couldn't help but smirk out of pride before I quickly set off to destroy the rest of the demons. Various villagers soon caught on and began battling fiercely.

A few hours later, the last of the demons had been slain, and I was beyond exhausted. Throughout the whole battle, I hadn't once seen Kaede or Jiro. Worry struck through my heart, but I forced myself to remain calm. Jiro was a capable fighter, so I knew Kaede would be safe. As I lightly jogged back in the direction of my home, I saw Kaede running towards me. Her kimono was stained with dirt and small amounts of blood; her hair was falling out of its tie, but she didn't seem to care.

I saw the panic-stricken look on her face, and I immediately ran to her. She looked up at me, her eyes seeming to be forever frozen in shock and fear. "What is it, Kaede? Tell me!" I yelled softly, shaking her shoulders lightly.

It seemed to have snapped her out of her thoughts for tears began to roll down her cheeks. "Jiro…" She uttered, and that was all it took. I instantly knew that he was gone…Stripped away from his life. I didn't even feel it, but I knew I had sunken down to the ground on my knees, my hands still resting on Kaede's shoulders.

She leaned in to hug me, and soon enough tears were streaming down my face. He was dead. And I couldn't even save him…Suddenly, I felt completely weak and drained. I gently pushed Kaede away and made my way towards our home. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't damaged tremendously, probably because it was on the outer edge of the village. I curled into a ball on my bed, staring at the wall. Unconsciously, my hand drifted to the sapphire amulet around my neck, stroking it thoughtfully. This was all I had of him.

This would be the night that I decided I'd never show mercy for a demon.

--

Spring had arrived, and with that, so had another year on my life. I was eighteen, and by now, I had come to terms with the Shikon jewel. It was a duty, responsibility…My whole world. Kaede had become quite skilled in creating medicine with the use of certain herbs. Many a time she had saved the lives of villagers who seemed to be on the brink of death.

I was truly proud of her, but I couldn't spare too much time with the jewel in my possession. It seems like the jewel is the only thing that can gain my attention these days.

The more I purified the jewel, the more common demon raids were. Most of these battles would be taken care of in a few minutes, thanks to the intense training I had gone through. I had even learned how to shoot off several arrows at once, all where I need them to go. With my spiritual powers, I could control them and their movements. I remember spending countless nights trying to perfect it.

It was on a particular night when I was out in the unnamed woods surrounding the outskirts of our village that I met _him_. He jumped out of a nearby tree and landed in front of me. His hair was white and wild, with two dog ears perched atop his head, instantly giving away his demonic attributes. His eyes alone were enough to convince me he wasn't human, for they were golden, much like when the sun is just sinking below the horizon.

I glared at him, reaching behind me to grab an arrow. He gave me a feral growl, cracking his knuckles. For some reason, he seemed different…Most demons I had come into contact with were less…Human-like. Then again, I remember being warned by a demon exterminator that demons who took the appearance of humans were much more threatening than those low-class ones.

"I already know what you want, and you can't have it," I spat. He simply glowered before launching towards me, claws extended for what I presumed was my throat.

I side-stepped him and launched off several arrows, which all whistled through his haori. He looked stunned momentarily before snarling at me. I raised a brow at his hostility.

"I'm letting you off with a warning, demon."

"Demon? The whole reason I _want _that jewel is to become one!"

I stood there, somewhat surprised. I could've sworn he was a demon…But then maybe that was where that weird feeling came from. Perhaps he wasn't all demon…And suddenly it clicked.

"You're a half-breed." I stated.

He merely looked away, apparently angered by that term. I shook my head before heading back to the village. "Don't show your face here again," I warned before continuing to walk away. I heard him snort softly before jumping onto a tree branch and disappearing.

It wasn't too long before I saw him again, hiding up in the trees nearby. I was with a group of small children, teaching them about specific herbs when I sensed his aura. Oddly enough, I didn't sense any evil radiating off of him, even after the whole first impressions we gave each other. As the children busied themselves by studying the herbs, I raised my head to look at him. His golden eyes seemed less intense than before. I saw something odd flicker through them before he quickly vanished.

"Lady Kikyou!" A small child squealed, tugging at my sleeve. I abruptly looked down at her, smiling softly.

"Yes, Chizuka?"

She brought a fistful of herbs in front of me, seeking approval. I merely smiled and told her they were the right ones to fix small scrapes and cuts. She smiled brightly before conversing with the other children. My thoughts kept drifting to the half-demon though, wondering what that strange look in his eyes was. At first I thought it was hate, but then I knew his gaze was far too mild to be hatred. Perhaps it was sadness, but that didn't seem quite right.

"Loneliness…" I whispered.

Later that day, I was sitting atop a grassy hill just outside the village, gazing at the clouds. The sky was a brilliant blue, decorated with soft, white wisps of clouds. My spiritual powers suddenly sensed something, and in an instant, I knew it was the half-breed.

"Come out. I know you're there." I said softly, though I kept a commanding tone of voice.

I heard some disgruntled noises coming from behind me before a whistling noise was made as he jumped through the air and landed a few feet away from me. His eyes were set in a glare at me, which I chose to ignore.

"Do you really want to become a full-fledged demon?" I asked quietly.

He stared at me in awe before shaking his head slightly. "Of course! Do you know what it's like to be two things at once, but then not accepted at all?" He hissed.

I stared at him, a soft look in my eyes. "Yes…I think I do."

He gave me a suspicious look, though I could tell he was curious. "What the hell do you mean by that?"

"I am a human…Yet I'm not to be one. I guard the Shikon jewel. I am not given any liberties. If I were to let down my guard for a moment's hesitation," I said, turning my face to look at him. "The demons would take me."

He merely huffed at me before turning his head to the horizon. I gave him a quizzical look. "We're more alike than you think. We suffer in our loneliness." That was when he instantly rose to his feet.

"I don't know what the hell you're spouting off about, but we are _nothing _alike!" He growled out at me, his hands clenched into tight fists at his side. I looked down at my lap, somewhat sadly.

"Maybe you're right then…" I said, looking up at him once more. For the first time in my life, I truly realized just how lonely I was. It never occurred to me how thick my barriers were until I saw someone who was in the exact same position. He was neither human, nor demon…Just someone caught in the middle of nothing.

His gaze softened slightly, and I could tell he was feeling guilty from his earlier anger.

"What is your name?"

He looked down at me, gaze never faltering.

"Inuyasha."

I smiled at him.

"How fitting…"

Ever since then, Inuyasha began to show himself more to the village, and in return the villagers did not cause a scene. They began to become immune to him and even expected his visits. I always wondered where it was that he stayed when he wasn't in the village, though I knew it wasn't of importance.

I can't say when this all started to happen, but somewhere in the middle of it, we fell in love. This was the first time for me to be able to love someone since Jiro. And as we spent more and more time together, I realized the love I had for Jiro did not surpass the way I felt about Inuyasha. That doesn't mean I don't love Jiro in some other way, or that I've forgotten him, I still wear the amulet he gave me, …But I've simply moved on from the past. And I soon found the resolve I made to show no mercy to a demon was on a shaky foundation.

Inuyasha was different. He told me of his family, how his mother was a human woman who happened to be a princess, while his father was a dog demon lord. He also told of his elder half-brother, Sesshoumaru who was so cold to the point where he said even ice looked warm. His childhood seemed to be stripped of him, much like mine did. In return, I told him of my parents and their deaths, the way I became appointed guardian of the Shikon jewel and how I spent years perfecting my spiritual powers. I also told him of Kaede who he regarded as a 'brat', though it was done somewhat warmly. And in time, I told him of Jiro.

Most of our days were spent like this, and as that happened, I felt my thoughts centering less on the jewel and more on Inuyasha. This proved to show later on.

When winter rolled around, a battle broke out. I suspected them to be demons, however I was mildly surprised to discover it was humans. They came charging into the village after rumors scattered on the winds foretold them of the Shikon jewel's whereabouts. It was then that I learned the jewel attracted evil—_all _evil. The evil in humans possessed them enough to pursue the jewel.

During battle, I figured they were as ruthless as most demons I had faced. Inuyasha was alongside me, getting rid of those who attempted to steal the jewel. Eventually, we had driven most of them out, and those that were too stupid to obey were killed.

Only a few days later did I wander outside of the village, in a grassy field-like area to gather some herbs. I came across a cave, and I could've sworn that I heard some moaning. I trudged carefully into the small cave to be met with the sight of man who looked so mutilated and deformed, I would've thought otherwise. However, I knew he was a human from the sounds he was making. He was trying to form words.

"Y…You…" He gasped quickly with a sharp intake of breath. I quickly ran over to him, sitting beside him. His whole body seemed to be immobilized.

"What are you doing here?"

He grimaced painfully before darting a beady eye up in my direction. "I'm the bandit…Onigumo," he rasped. "I was a part of that…raid a few days ago…or weeks…I couldn't possibly…remember."

I stared at him silently, wondering if it was alright to help him. He had, after all, attempted to steal the jewel. Yet, in the position he was, I couldn't turn the other cheek. His sudden coughing fit brought me out of my thoughts. I decided I'd help him. It wasn't in my nature to turn away someone who needed help, especially when their current state was such as this.

"I'll be back with some medicines and cloth," I said quietly before leaving the cave.

About a half hour later, I stepped into the cave again, this time with supplies. I knelt down next to him, and rubbed some oil from a special plant that could cure burns. His whole body was covered in them, and I figured he must've been left for dead.

I worked silently, while he stared at the roof of the cave. It was a wonder that he was still alive…

When I was done bandaging him up, he decided to speak.

"You're that priestess woman who has the Shikon jewel, aren't ya?" He grinned somewhat sadistically.

"Yes," I replied tersely, not meeting his gaze. He merely chuckled some more before wheezing again.

"Such a pretty woman…" He muttered before shutting his eyes. His breathing slowed down to that of one sleeping; a sign for me to slip away.

I left the cave, my thoughts somewhat jumbled and disorganized. A man such as that was a low-life, regardless of his wounds. He was a bandit, simple as that. Besides, he was a man of pure evil, and I couldn't allow that. The minute his healing was satisfactory, I'd force him out of the village. We had faced enough peril thanks to the jewel.

When I arrived back at the village, I saw Inuyasha standing near Kaede who had a worried look on her face.

"Where were you?!" She nearly shouted.

"No need to shout," I chided before glancing at Inuyasha. He had his arms folded across his chest, eyes brimming with curiosity and doubt.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing…"

I decided not to press the issue further so as not to get him riled up. Kaede sighed before entering our hut. Inuyasha walked towards me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I smiled lightly, loving the feeling of being in his arms. The thoughts of the crude bandit vanished from my mind.

Inuyasha leaned in and pressed his lips softly against mine, and it felt magical. There was so much passion in it, yet all he did was put his lips up against mine. I felt myself getting lost in his touch as I tangled my hands in his white mane. For once in my life, I forgot about the jewel completely. And at the moment, I didn't care. All that existed was me and Inuyasha.

Eventually, we pulled away and began to walk towards a grassy hilltop—the same one where we first sat down and actually talked. We stood there, staring at the sunset. The skies were stained with dark blues, reds, pinks…The most beautiful colors I had ever seen.

"Someday, we'll both be free, Kikyou. That I promise you." Inuyasha said the last part so fiercely I was taken aback. But he quickly kissed me, his hands holding my face. I sighed contentedly when he pulled away. And when I stared into his eyes, I saw nothing but love and hope.

"I know," I whispered, running my hand down his cheek.

One month had passed, and I felt that growing desire to form a new life with Inuyasha more powerful than ever. I still watched over Onigumo, who Kaede now knew about as well. She often claimed she didn't like him, and sensed something wrong with him, though I told her repeatedly that he was crippled and the man couldn't be helped much. She didn't seem to like the answer, though she held her tongue.

It was a particular night, after hearing rather perverse comments towards me from Onigumo that Inuyasha and I met. A plan had formed in my head, and I was sure it was the key to ultimate happiness. We stood at the same spot that held so much meaning for us, the grassy hilltop. The jewel was safely snuggled into the palm of my hand.

"Inuyasha…We have the answer." I extended my arm and opened my hand to reveal the soft purple jewel. His eyes looked at it in confusion, though I could see small bits of desire in there as well.

"If you…If you were willing to become human…You could make that wish upon the Shikon jewel, and it would vanish. By doing so, I'd become an ordinary woman, and you, an ordinary man. We could live together without the constant worry." I could feel myself becoming more and more excited, though I was worried about Inuyasha's reaction.

After gazing at the jewel for a particularly long time, he raised his head to look at me.

"Anything for you, Kikyou."

I smiled, kissing him lightly on the lips.

"Meet me at dawn tomorrow in this same spot. I will bring the jewel, and then you can make your wish." He nodded his head. We quickly departed after that, my head filled with thoughts of our soon-to-be future. Visions of living a happy life with the man I loved made me feel as if I was suspended in air, just thinking of when we would be wed.

Dawn couldn't have approached slower if it tried, but it did eventually. I walked up to where we stood last night, waiting for Inuyasha. I figured he was making his way over when I suddenly felt an overwhelming pain slash through my back. I cried out in pain as I hit the ground, the small jewel rolling out of my hand. I gasped when I heard the very familiar voice that could only belong to Inuyasha.

_How could you…_I thought, feeling suddenly helpless.

"As if I truly loved you. You were a fool, Kikyou. And thanks to that, I have the Shikon jewel, and I can become the demon that I want to be!" I heard him laugh viciously before leaving me for dead. The air felt still and constricting around me, and I felt like I had no energy to go on. But then my head suddenly snapped up. He was going to the village.

I would not let the village be attacked thanks to my own foolishness.

With much struggle, I got up to my feet and limped the whole way there. I was met with the sight of the village in the process of being engulfed in flames. My eyes widened for a split second before I limped into the heart of the village where Kaede met me. I saw that one of her eyes had been badly damaged, but nevertheless, she ignored the apparent pain.

"Here!" She yelped, handing me my bow and quiver stocked with arrows. I nodded my thanks while she sadly gazed at my reddening clothes. I looked down and noted it was getting close to being completely red, instead of the pure white it once was. It was a reminder of what he had done.

And then I spotted him, in the middle of the commotion. I could tell even at this distance that his golden eyes were seething. My mouth was set into a grim line as I raised my bow and notched an arrow. His head suddenly snapped in my direction, and he bared his fangs.

"You bitch!" He screamed. "You tricked me!"

I didn't understand what he was saying. All I knew was that I had been betrayed.

"Inuyasha! How could you take the jewel for such a thing? After all that you had promised me…" I whispered the last part to myself, though I had a feeling his sensitive dog ears heard me.

But I didn't care. I drew back the bowstring, aligning the area with my target—Inuyasha.

With a grimace, I let the arrow fly straight to his chest. His eyes were filled with surprised, though they slowly became half-lidded. I hadn't exactly killed him, rather I sealed him to a tree with an enchantment spell on the arrow. So long as the arrow remained embedded in his chest, he would not wake up.

Kaede came up behind me and gasped. I noted that her eye had been bandaged up, and the pounding feeling of guilt rose in my chest, knowing that had it not been for my foolishness and petty desires, her eye would be fine.

"Inuyasha…" She whispered.

I looked down at Kaede, grimacing a little as blood poured from my wounds.

"Kaede, you must listen to me. Take the jewel and burn it with my remains," I commanded her.

She gave me a surprised look, gazing from my bloody state to the sparkling jewel in my hand. "But…"

"There's no time to hesitate! The jewel must be taken out of this world. I'm to die anyways from these wounds." She stood there silently before nodding in understanding.

As I lay on my deathbed, waiting to let the flames take me, my thoughts flickered to Inuyasha. I still loved him, and perhaps that was why I didn't kill him off completely. He was in an eternal slumber, where these horrific memories couldn't resurface. The flames began to lick at me, though I was already half-way gone myself.

But I remembered the air suddenly becoming cold, and the smell of fresh, falling snow drifted into my nostrils.

Life continues.

**Fin. **


End file.
